Do not click to make it bigger - we like it small!

One year after my radiation treatments, and two years after my surgery, there seems to be no prostate cancer present.  We'll check again in 6 months, but in the meantime life is good!

 

My PSA score!

Do not click to make it bigger - we like it small!

Lost time?

I've been pretty much away from the computer, and from most of my "regular" life for the last 10 days or so. My radiation treatments seemed to have finally caught up with me, and a great deal of distress was occurring "in the neighborhood"! At the urging of Cheryl, I finally gave in and went to to see the oncologist. This was last Thursday, and I pretty much needed Cheryl to lean on to get there! Very severe discomfort. He asked lots of questions, looked quite concerned, and after deciding it was not radiation side effects, he sent me over to the Emergency Department! They kept me for about 4 hours --- but with no real diagnosis, they sent me to the Cardiology Department for a Holter monitor - a sort of 24 hour EKG - and from there to home. I successfully fended off Cheryl's urgings that I go back to Emergency, call my regular doctor, or SOMETHING, for most of the weekend, (the Vicodin from the emergency room doctor was some help) finally giving up and calling my regular doctor's emergency # around 3AM on Monday morning. He answered himself, and told me to come into the office in the morning - no appointment necessary.

Just a quick note that I love Dr. Sirotenko. He is very good at sorting out symptoms, and getting to the heart of the matter.

Within about 3 minutes he checked my urine for blood, and declared that I had a kidney stone. A sonogram was scheduled for Wednesday (about 48 hours away) , but Cheryl went around channels, and had me at the "look inside people and see what we can find" place getting looked at within a couple of hours!

Sure enough - a nice kidney stone with it's very painful passage process was what had been laying me low, including actually passing out a few times, for the past several days. They declared that the stone had already done most of it's dastardly stuff, and should be a thing of the past relatively soon.

My mental image of a nice little smooth river stone sort of thing was dispelled by the Internet (see one image I found above). I am still quite uncomfortable and still get waves of the peristalsis process that my body uses to try to push it on into the bladder and out of the way, but I'm certainly better than I was a week ago! The treatment is lots of liquids, time, and Vicodin!

It sure would be nice if we could get diseases one at a time! If I had walked into the Emergency Department with a severe pain in my kidney area radiating around to the groin, but hadn't been sent there by the Oncology folks, they probably would have figured it out in no time at all!

If I get a picture of my little nemisis, I'll post it!

37

Finished with my treatments!
More thanks than I can ever possibly express to all those wonderful
folks at the hospital up at the end of our street!

Valentines Day

My Valentine is in Philadelphia :-(

I had Valentine's Dinner with my parents ;-)
The Valentine above was from the folks who Zap me every day in the Radiation Oncology Deptartment at Highland Hospital! I can't tell you how much I thank them for the Valentine, for the smiles and greetings I get every morning, and for the daily Zaps that hopefully are sending my cancer cells on to their great reward!

More stuff I've learned about my cancer treatments!

Click on the image for a bigger more readable view.

They have been telling me for a while about how precise and controlled the radiation is that bombards me each day, but the other day I figured out more about how they do it. While the computer, programming, etc. are pretty complex, the mechanics are pretty simple. The graphic above - created by me - explains the basics. The circle above is basically the view I get as I slide under the head of the machine each day.

A whole series of pretty thin lead plates are moved back and forth with little servo motors to open up just exactly the right shape "window" for the radiation to come out of. The plates are thin as you look up at them, but they are pretty thick vertically, and are neatly "notched" on the sides to make sure there are no gaps for extra radiation to leak through. As the machine head rotates to each of the 7 positions where it stops to "zap" me, those little lead plates slide around to open up a differently shaped little window at each position. That creates a very specific pattern of radiation that hits where they want to hit, and skips what they want to avoid. I think they are even able to vary the radiation strength in different areas of the window!

The other thing I learned today was that I won't know the results for at least a couple of months! The cancer cells have been rendered weak, but not dead and gone for while after the treatments stop. I was picturing a blood test next Tuesday after my last treatment, with a PSA of ZERO, but I guess not --- :-( Oh well!

New!

This isn't the final version of our new "Praise" figure! She will have a new head/face soon. She also has a sister who will appear here soon. Comments, suggestions, and orders gladly accepted!

We went to a great party for Brother Walker tonight .... see entry below if you missed my small world story. I actually got 140 hits on that blog story in one day - ten times normal! The people at Pictometry, and the American Cancer Society were pleased with the story, and 5 more staff at Pictometry signed up for ACS's "Road to Recovery" volunteer effort. The world is full of really good people.... Thank You.

Another small world story

I've used this picture before. It is an aerial photo of the farm I grew up on. This is a story, not about growing up on this farm, but about a connection about 55 years later. I love the way the universe gives us little stories, and big stories. My dad loves to tell what he calls "small world" stories --- about the ways we are all connected, and the ways we can sort of connect back to ourselves.This man is Brother Timothy Walker. He was there the first time I went to the Highland Oncology Department to get measured, fitted, x-rayed, scanned, and tattooed! He shared stories with me, and put me at ease. He had the appointment right after mine every day, and always had a friendly word and a smile, a handshake, or a hug! I only say "had" because Friday was his last treatment, and I now need to face the rest of these treatments alone, though I now have met others who are just starting, and I have tried to pass on Brother Walker's good cheer!

One day last week, I met a young man named Ethan, who had driven Brother Walker to his appointment. The next day, there was a young woman in the waiting room, and something told me to ask if she was driving Brother Walker? "Yes, I am..... I'm Kelly" I asked where Brother
Walker managed to find all these great young folks to drive him? "The company I work for asked the Cancer Society what we could do to help, and they assigned us to drive Brother Walker to his appointments each day. We take turns." What sort of company has it's employees drive people to cancer treatments on the clock?" "I work for Pictometry" Kelly replied..... and of course I had to ask what they do, because that is a remarkable company! I'll shorten it to the summary that they work with digital aerial imagery.

"Oh. That is cool. There used to be a company in our building named Aerial Surveys, that processed film from pilots all over the country that took aerial photos of places like the one above of our farm when I was a kid."

What a chain! 55 years ago Henry flew over our farm, took a photo, processed it, and dropped by later to sell it to my dad. 25 years later, his business moved into the same building where we ran The Toycrafter. Today their space is our laser room, painting room, and my office. Years later, I get cancer, meet Brother Walker, and meet his young friends who drive him to the doctor, and work at today's version of what Henry did 55 years ago!

Things that make you go "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM".

The view from here

Here is the view as I walk into the room with my friendly neighborhood radiation machine. The entire front portion of the machine rotates, pretty much centered on the middle of that computer screen. The radiation comes from that big over head round thing. I lay on that table to the left.... it will rise up and move under the head. My prostate neighborhood will be centered on the rotation axis of the machine, and directly under the head. Servo motors rotate the head, and also move around shields inside that focus the beam narrowly to hit just the right spot each time. Below is me -- the real me this time - not a stand-in. The big head of the machine has rotated around and is now aimed upward from under my right hip. The technician took this shot on the way out of the room. The machine will now "zap" me twice from this position, and then rotate about 45 degrees and do it again, continuing 5 more times until it is on this side of the picture, with the last "zaps" coming up through my left hip. The blue thingy under my legs is my personally molded bean bag leg positioning device. If you click on the picture to make it bigger, you can read my name on it..... Olney - not a number!

Below is the view as I look up at the ceiling -- pretty much no where else to look ;-)

Skip today's entry if you are easily offended, or are sensitive??

I love it when the universe gives me a chuckle! I got two today! The picture above is of a couple of magazines on the table in the waiting room at my favorite oncology unit! Moving the smaller magazine reveals the originally intended message from the magazine publisher, but I love the way the Gods arranged them for me this morning!

On similar? note, I have developed one of the "side effects" of my treatments. The written material I got at the beginning of the process refers to this "side effect" as "loose bowel". As I tried to politely describe what happened to me yesterday afternoon, Anne interjected --- "Oh! You sharted!" Being a bit slow on the uptake, I started to ask ---------- her reply "That's a combination shit and fart" Another wonderful moment in my morning! A review of the internet - UrbanDictionary.com yields the definition " a small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart (blend of "shit" and "fart")

I hope you will return for more adventures in the future despite my indiscretion today ;-)

Elly

Met with the Oncology social worker on Friday. A great woman - 83 years young, and still plying her trade! I really enjoyed the chance to spill a few! She is sort of a "central casting" grandmother! She gave me a little talk about journal writing as a helpful and accepted thing to do, and gave me a very nice bound "journal" to use. Being more of a computer person, I thought of rejecting it, but it looked like a nice book. I was expecting nice blank pages ready to accept my hopes, complaints, and other such, but upon unwrapping it at home, discovered it to be more of a "workbook" sort of thing. Only about 1/2 empty, and with far too many "guiding thoughts".
"List the ways your bald head is beautiful." "This page is for your Joy thoughts" "What about your cancer makes you angry?" Lots of that sort of thing. Even a list of "Feeling Words" - circle those that apply? Part of the chapter entitled "I Want To Be Positive, But I Feel So Negative"

My favorite line from the author of "My Healing Companion" --- in the "Write to Survive" chapter ---- "I have all types of cancer patients who journal: prostrate patients, .................................." I pretty much quit right there. I guess spell checker didn't catch that one.

Don't get me wrong..... I'm very glad to have Elly on my side. She is very warm and understanding, but with a strong sense of reality and practicality --- "Bring me a copy of your Health Care Proxy next time!" She is going to be a great resource. I like writing/blogging, but I think I'll skip "My Healing Companion"!

First real treatment done!

Above and below are pictures of my new friend! Once again, that's not me. You can see the laser lines that help them align me in the machine properly. When turned on, the machine projects a beam of radiation into my body - seems like about 10 seconds each? The really cool thing is that they actually project the beam 12 times. Each beam goes through at a different angle all around the neighborhood. The drawing below is a diagram of half of the steps. Each beam causes some damage to all the cells it passes through. But the area they really want to zap extra hard is the small (red) area where all the beams cross. That area will get 12 times the radiation of any other area, causing less damage to the parts of me I want to keep, and more damage to the parts of me that I'd just as soon be rid of! Pretty clever if you ask me!

Just a note that I found my camera that has been missing for about 2 weeks, so I'll try to get some actual shots of the machine.

Three Thirty Three!

This has been the year of the machine! Starting last December with the DaVinci robotic surgery system, I have met lots of very cool high tech machines. Today it was the Oldelft Simulix-MC ... one part of a system to figure out where to aim the radioactive beam that will presumably kill off that little colony of cancer cells left over after last year's surgery.

I was positioned on that table in the bottom left of the picture. A bean bag chair like device was placed under my legs.... legs are kind of nestled into place, and then a vacuum pump draws all the air from the bean bag, leaving a very sturdy mold that will allow them to place my lower half in exactly the same position for each of the 35 treatments. Unlike a lot of medical stuff these days, when I'm done, they can let the air back into the bag, and use it over again to help save someone else!

The table then rises and rotates into position with me in between the upper and lower arms in the center of the picture. The head above is an x-ray machine, and the black and white box below is the receiver/plate holder. If you look to the far left, a vertical white box with a small red window near the top puts out a laser beam that strikes my right side just above the hip... another laser beam from the opposite corner of the room, targets my left hip, and one above lights up a spot on my stomach. Jill, the technician, gives me three small tattoos at the spots where the laser beams hit. The combination of these marks, and the leg mold, will align me properly every time!

Several X-rays are then taken, and later in the day, I am carefully aligned in a CAT scan machine at another hospital in town for corresponding CAT scan images. Highland hospital's CAT scan machine was out of order today. Lucille has brought along my leg mold!

Over the next few days, with the help of computers, the CAT scan and the x-rays, will be used to create a program that will precisely target my cancer. Starting in about 10 days, 35 radiation treatments will damage all the cells in a very carefully mapped and confined neighborhood. Healthy cells will recover over the weekend breaks, and after the treatments. Cancer cells, with their rapid growth and reproduction, will not be able to recover so well, and will end up in pretty bad shape, unable to continue their process.

A strange process of killing off part of me so that the rest of me can go on enjoying this fabulously wonderful life with which I have been blessed!

Thank you to Dr. Liu, Jill, Lucille, and to the folks at Strong Hospital willing to cover for the broken CAT scan machine at Highland.

The title???? My 333rd post!

Update

No pictures today, but I want to update you on the BIG C.

Prostacint scan revealed absolutely nothing. The good part of that is that whatever is in there is very small because this scan is pretty sensitive! The bad part is that with a rising PSA, there is definitely cancer somewhere, and the prostacint scan did not give them a definite location.

The next step is 7 weeks of radiation treatments in that neighborhood where my prostate used to reside..... that being the most likely location of the bad guys!

Currently waiting for approval from my insurance company. Next Thursday, (if approved) they will make some sort of jig that will hold me in the same position for each of the 35 Zaps!

I presume I will start going in for treatments around the 15th? ---- finishing around the 1st of February? Will keep you posted!

Not too bad!

Well, the scans are done. I can eat now, and drink a lot less ... though I feel quite thirsty. The 96 minute scan yesterday was not too bad. I had Juan put a table beside me so I could lay my arm out to the side instead of over my head. While that was not comfortable, it was quite a bit less uncomfortable! I looked at the pictures afterward, but of course had no idea what to look for. Pretty cool to see my insides though! At this point somebody does some computer enhancement to add colors, etc. which should tell the doctors something about where we go from here. All in all an interesting experience which I could well do without, but for which I am most grateful!

Much thanks to Lynette and Juan and to the unknown folks who will prepare the images for the Doctors!

Yes We Can!

These new pins are to encourage continuation of all the work we did on the election! We just got started nicely.... we've picked a great leader .... now we need to do the actual work.

I'm also going to take that phrase and apply it to my life. Not that I haven't been doing that right along, but it seems an especially important sentiment right now. I'm toward the end of a week of having a series of scans to determine the exact location of the cancer in my body. It has been a week of drinking a gallon of liquids every day. I'm sure you can easily figure the number of trips between the refrigerator and the bathroom?

The prostacint scans are very interesting, and sort of uncomfortable. The actual scans are pretty much nothing.... just lie there and let the "camera" take a time exposure image of the gamma rays emitted by the little radioactive prostate cell seekers! ------- But you have to lie very still! Not too bad on the 20 minute one, but the 69 minute one is sort of a bear! Tomorrow is the last two scans, but since the radioactive guys weaken over time, they need to extend the time for the scan because there are a lot fewer gamma rays... should be fun?

Yes I Can!

My neighborhood hospital and constant friend for the next few weeks.

About a year ago, I was feeling much like I feel now. I had gone from "perfectly healthy" to "not too sure" very quickly when my PSA was quite a bit above my normal when I had my August physical. While the surgery that followed that cancer diagnosis was very scary, and the recovery took a lot longer than I had thought it would, the results seemed good. Two successive PSA reading of ZERO - as expected - with no equipment to make prostate specific antigen I had no reading!

This year's August physical and PSA reading gave me another startling experience. Instead of ZERO, the PSA was now 0.16 (a rise from the .1 that I had been told was "the same as 0" ???) Another test a few weeks later showed .3, and I was definitely back on the worried side of things. Those numbers seem very tiny compared to the the numbers we males usually hear, but remember - the equipment for making that stuff is gone!

A bone scan and a CAT scan both show that nothing serious has spread, but this week I am in the middle of a much more extensive prostacint scan that is supposed to locate the small number of cells that are in there making PSA. This will undoubtedly be followed by a round of radiology treatments to knock out those little unwanted visitors! The path of that little beam of radioactive rays will be carefully planned based on this scan.

Once again, I'm confronted with a scary diagnosis, along with a lot of assurance that the planned treatment is the best option, we have caught it early, radiation has a very good track record, with low chance of recurrence, etc. Once again, I feel confident, but the "but" is a little bigger this time.

I'll repeat what I said in that December 2007 blog entry:

Any positive thoughts, prayers, or spells will be greatly appreciated!

Latest Da Vinci Robot!

The newest version of the Da Vinci robotic surgery system has arrived in town. I missed it, but it was available for public viewing and playing at Rochester General Hospital yesterday. The one that worked on me is 4 years old. In dog years, that is 28 years old. In technology years, who knows. From the video, and pictures, this one looks a lot smaller and less scary than the one that I met. Click here for a short local TV segment on the new machine. Not sure how long the video link will stay on-line -- let me know if it stops working.

Getting tired of this.

Another sign that life continues! This Gerber Daisy in our kitchen window has sort of risen from the dead. After the frost, I brought in this flower I got for Cheryl last spring and put in the kitchen window. The leaves looked pretty dead, but I brought it inside anyway. About 5 leaves seemed to revive a bit over the coming weeks, and like the sentimentalist I am, I kept watering it. A few new leaves rewarded my effort, and then, about the time I came home from the hospital I noticed a tiny flower bud emerging from the dirt. Above is that flower today.

I haven't written much recently, and pretty much no pictures either. Recovery for older folks is quite a bit slower it seems. Hours of watching I Love Lucy, Gunsmoke, MASH, and history channel stuff is surprisingly interesting, but pretty much uninspiring! I've gone to work a few times, but seem to only last for a maximum of 3 hours or so. A few good ideas seem to pop up here and there, but the energy to follow-up seems quite limited. Cheryl and Lisa have gone off to Atlanta for a show, and I'm home alone ---- another source of lack of inspiration?

Anyway, the doctor says my pace of recovery is not unusual --- I think they forgot to tell me that in advance? I continue to be very pleased to wake up everyday, and I'm trying to remind myself that all this time sitting around is a lot better than not being here to sit around. Each day definitely seems a bit better, and I'm looking forward to making more stuff, making more friends, taking care of all the old friends, and growing older with Cheryl!

Hug everyone you love soon, and maybe even hug a couple of strangers?

A great year!

My year is summed up very nicely in the above picture. Maya Louise chewing happily on the custom bib my parents got for her! Four generations gathered for Christmas breakfast. From now on I will consider all such moments as miracles!

I was pretty sore and tired Christmas morning, but yesterday we all gathered again, with the addition of my neice, nephew, and sister-in-law, and I was much more comfortable.

Recovery seems a bit slower than I had hoped for, but also better in some ways than I had imagined. The post-op doctor visit was encouraging.... all the cancer is gone. (probably?) I have made friends with Depends - I will never joke about them again? ;-) So far I'm beating the doctor's predictions on the need for them! I may have some leftovers if any of you find yourself needing some in the future??????

I am beyond belief with the events of the past year, and teary with gratitude. Gratitude for my family and friends, and gratitude for the dozens of folks, known, vaguely known, and unknown, who got me through the last couple of months....... Dr. Sirotenko and staff, who always run PSA! .... the unknown blood lab folks who just run and report the numbers with no direct knowledge of the people whose samples flow through their machines ....... Dr. Guthinger and staff who helped with the diagnosis and decisions necessary ....... Dr. Valvo, who sat in that little room and helped with the decisions, and then sat in the corner with his head and hands in a really cool machine, and treated my body like it was as important as all the others ..... Dr. Valvo's staff who scheduled stuff, soothed me when I called with concerns, removed the staples and other stuff, and delivered the final version of the good news, and the staff of Rochester General Hospital, from the diagnostic imaging folks with their biopsies, cool scans and pictures, to the folks who introduced themselves moments before they strapped me down in that big room with the big machines, to the folks on the 4500 floor who took very good care of me after I woke up! Last but not least, Cheryl, who has been the world's best wife, nurse and friend to me since my return home, and for 23 years before that!